Wednesday 21 September 2011

B is for ... Baby Babble, Bottles and Bond... James Bond... (Wordy Wednesday)

I can hardly believe that it is Wordy Wednesday already.  Half the working week (well for people that go 'out' to work it is, for SAHM add the weekend into that 'working week') has passed and the bubbles of excitement that 'Thursday tomorrow' thoughts bring are starting to form.  For me and most SAHM (or Dads) it brings the 'Thursday tomorrow, two more days and Daddy/Mummy is home to help entertain while I pee in private' excitement.

The things I have to be 'Wordy' on this 'Wednesday' (ahh see what I did there...) about all begin with the letter... B.  What?  Not surprised?  Ah damn it, the title of the post gave it away didn't it?  Anyway, let's begin :

Baby Babble.  Oh my gosh, this is the cutest, yet most frustrating, baby phase that I have come up against yet.  To be fair, with waiting five years for J1 to start to talk (and it still makes me smile to this day, almost every word that leaves his mouth - as long as it's not done in 'whine' tone, where the pitch goes up so high only dogs on our street can hear) I thought I had been up against some frustration.

Now J2 is quite articulate in his gestures and getting his point across.  I am assuming for 18 months he is doing just fine with his speech and language (although J2 is baby number 2, I have no benchmarks from the same ages for J1 so this is all brand new to me).  He has a handful of very clear one letter words; 'Car' (usually with one car in hand, my car key in the other and a trail of destruction of cars trailing whatever route around the house he has taken).  'Bub-bils' (Bubbles, a favourite of both kids and myself, never too old for bubbles!).  'Juice' / 'Cheese' (no explanation required).  'Garsses' (glasses, usually being brought to me in two, or with an arm missing).  But just recently he has taken to coming very excitedly to me and 'Dush beba um natakiwa'

WHAT? 

How am I meant to decipher that?  And then he'll repeat it (in true Brit style, no different just louder).  I again look at him slowly shaking my head in confusion, mouth slightly open in the hope that the words will float through the air, jump into my mouth, reformulate into something I can understand and we can move on.  He says it a third and final time to which I have to say (in full patronising tone) 'YYYYYYYYYYYYeeeeessss, very good' in the hope that being positive will placate him.

Usually he then toddles off and I feel like a complete failure.  Occasionally the Hubby will look at me in the same confusion and note that he didn't have a clue either.  I make myself feel better by deducing that whatever it was either wasn't life threatening or changing because generally if it is something he really wants he takes my hand and drags me along (usually to the scene of the crime, wet patch on floor, toy broken in two etc...). 

Occasionally however, he will get as frustrated with me as I am with myself and has suddenly developed the (rather amusing) over dramatic (J2, over dramatic?  Never, I hear you say...) throwing himself on the floor and doing  'James Bond' style roll.  I am quite impressed, sometimes he can do three full rotations with the gusto that he gives it.  If he has his Bottle in hand he can look quite authentic!  And thus we move on to the issue of 'The Bottle'.

It's a big raging debate isn't it, that everyone seems to have an opinion on.  When should a baby / toddler / small child stop having a bottle?  Some say at a year old when they 'should stop having formula'.  Some say it's terrible for their teeth.  Some say why take away the only article that will calm your child down.  

I was lucky with J1, despite all of his problems he moved seamlessly from bottle to cup when he was a year old.  He really didn't mind (he did have a dummy mind you).  J2 on the other hand is less than keen.  But, J2 being 18 months now has a good set of gnashers and has taken to biting the teats and splitting massive hole in them, which mean they leak.  Everywhere.  Or of course, biting the ends right off.  Dangerous. 

A friend of mine has been having the same problem.  Her little boy is 2 and she decided the other day, after loss of another set of teats, that he was going to have to go 'Cold Turkey' and she would brave it out.  She has been pleasantly surprised by the lack of meltdowns over the statement 'No bottle, cup'.  I have decided that I will not be purchasing any new teats, so when the last few have gone that is it, and hoping that the introduction of a range of other cups (who knew there were so many though, talk about confusing there are more shapes, sizes, colours and textures than in a condom range!) will have sufficiently taken over.  If not I will be the one having the meltdown. 

My point on this is that everyone believes in and deals with the situation with their own child in a different way.  I was enjoying a day on the beach the other week with J2 and he had a bottle with his snack.  The man on the next beach mat, who had a similar aged child felt need to comment very loudly 'Look at that kid still having a bottle!  Little Archie doesn't still have a bottle, got rid of that ages ago' to his wife (who did look suitably mortified by the way). 

But, by the rules of parenting, I wanted to punch him full on in the face.  I wanted to say that from observing 'Little Archie' I was glad that my little J2 had a bottle over being a whining 'wouldn't go on the sand, wouldn't go in the water, wouldn't lick around the edge of the ice-cream' child.  But I kept that thought to myself.  Like he should of his.

Wow, that was a very Wordy Wednesday!

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